ASEAN BUILDING ON SUCCESS OF ANTHEM

UNCLAS JAKARTA 000582 Dept for EAP, EAP/MTS, EAP/MLS, EAP/RSP E.O. 12958: N/A TAGS: PREL PGOV ECON ASEAN KOMO ID SUBJECT: ASEAN BUILDING ON SUCCESS OF ANTHEM REF: 08 JAKARTA 650 ¶1. (U) SUMMARY: ASEAN's new anthem has been an overwhelming success. The catchy tune has climbed the charts in all ten Southeast Asia countries and is a favorite selection on karaoke machines throughout the region. To capitalize on this success, the Jakarta-based ASEAN Secretariat held a special April 1 meeting to identify other ways that ASEAN can play a more central role in the region. Ideas included the official designation of an ASEAN costume, snack, sport or animal- inspired mascot. Member states surprisingly failed to reach a consensus, but promised to meet again soon to mull things over. END SUMMARY. ASEAN COSTUME UNRAVELS ¶2. (U) To capitalize on the success of the ASEAN Way, the organization's catchy new anthem, the ASEAN Secretariat called a special April 1 meeting to identify other ways that ASEAN can play a more central role in the region and internationally. Secretariat officials first suggested an official ASEAN costume. Several delegations seized on the idea. The Singaporeans went first, suggesting grey trousers, a striped tie and a blue blazer with the ASEAN logo on the pocket. Burmese officials next suggested khaki uniforms--a proposal that went quickly down to defeat. The Filipinos--showing exuberance and great emotion--recommended the barong. The discussion completely broke down, however, due to a dispute between Indonesia and Malaysia over which country invented batik. HEARTBURN OVER ASEAN SNACK ¶3. (U) Next on the agenda was the proposal for an official ASEAN snack. However, a split within the Thai delegation prevented any progress on this front. Most Thai officials supported spring rolls as the official ASEAN delicacy. Fierce arguments broke out within the Thai delegation, however, on whether the wrapping for the snack would be red or yellow. Regional observers we spoke to were surprised that the regional grouping was unable to reach a consensus on durian as the official ASEAN snack. Meanwhile, Indonesian and Malaysian officials argued over which country invented nasi goreng. CRYING FOUL OVER AN ASEAN SPORT ¶4. (U) ASEAN officials then turned to the idea of an official ASEAN sport. Former New York Mets star Sidd Finch (see 08 Jakarta 650, dated April 1, 2008, for more on Finch) traveled to the Secretariat from his yoga studio in Bali to make the pitch for baseball. Finch explained that baseball's leisurely pace was a perfect match for the ASEAN way. Several member states rejected the proposal, however, because they feared that Southeast Asian countries would be dominated by more powerful Northeast Asian baseball powers like Japan and South Korea. Discussions of an alternative ASEAN sport soon hit the wall thanks to a dispute between Indonesia and Malaysia over which country had invented badminton. GNASHING OF TEETH OVER ASEAN MASCOT ¶5. (U) There was also discussion about designating an animal-inspired mascot for the organization. The Indonesians suggested the Komodo Dragon (a gigantic lizard from Indonesia). This was controversial, however. The vicious attack last year on two British divers by deadly Komodo dragons has sparked European human rights groups to protest against the giant lizards. The divers, who survived almost nine hours in shark-infested waters only to come face to face with several deadly Komodo dragons on dry land, have told the press that the savage beasts should not be iconized. The divers reportedly used rocks and a weight belt to fight off the giant, venomous, fiendish lizards as they repeatedly lunged at them. Thai animal rights activists have asserted that the often overlooked (and considerably less cruel) monitor lizard should also be a contender for the mascot job. FINDING A SOLUTION ¶6. (U) Member states surprisingly failed to reach a consensus on any of these topics, but promised to meet again soon to mull things over. Secretariat officials decided to try to find a solution to these problems in the time-honored ASEAN way--they thought of the idea of forming a Special High-Level Eminent Persons Consultative Advisory Panel (SHLEPCAP). However, before the SHLEPCAP could meet, a working-level Standing Committee on ASEAN Costumes, Snacks, Sports and Mascots (SCACSSM) would have to draft Terms of Reference (TOR) for the SHLEPCAP. Our contacts did not think this process would be complete in time for the Panel's next scheduled meeting, slated for April 1, 2010. ¶7. (U) Happy April Fool's Day from Jakarta. HUME