FAREWELL KSA: WEALTHY WESTERN WIVES' UNREALIZED

C O N F I D E N T I A L JEDDAH 000302 SIPDIS SIPDIS RIYADH, PLEASE PASS TO DHAHRAN; PARIS FOR ZEYA; LONDON FOR TSOU; DEPARTMENT FOR NEA/ARP SIPDIS E.O. 12958: DECL: 04/16/2016 TAGS: PGOV SOCI SA SUBJECT: FAREWELL KSA: WEALTHY WESTERN WIVES' UNREALIZED DREAM Classified By: Consul General Tatiana Gfoeller, for reasons 1.4 (b) and (d). ¶1. (C) SUMMARY AND COMMENT. Over the course of her tenure here in Jeddah, the Consul General has had the opportunity to speak with a number of Western expatriate women who are married to wealthy Saudi businessmen. Their story is always the same: they dream of leaving Saudi Arabia behind to settle down with their husbands back in the West. They cannot admit to themselves or anyone else that theirs is a dream that will never be realized. While their rhetoric about why they and their husbands remain in the Kingdom varies over time, their reality is unchanged. Most become accustomed to their affluent lifestyles and are unwilling to sacrifice wealth for freedom. Eventually they resign themselves to the fact that they will never live permanently in the West again, and instead spend months at a time in their home countries, upholding the fiction of a stable household in exchange for an exorbitant allowance. END SUMMARY AND COMMENT. AN UNLIKELY RETIREMENT TO THE WEST ¶2. (C) The CG has had many opportunities to speak with Western expatriate women who are married to wealthy Saudi men. She first met some of these women when she herself was posted to Saudi Arabia 18 years ago. Most are married to men who they met in their home countries and who have returned with their wives to Saudi Arabia to work in their families' businesses. Each of these women in their early forties says that, while they enjoy their affluent lifestyles here in the Kingdom, the restrictions on their movement and their treatment as second-class citizens is hard on them. Nonetheless, they assert that they are here to raise their children while their husbands make money. "The plan, after all, is to retire to the West." ¶3. (C) Eighteen years later, the CG has seen the same women in the same situation they were in back then; their husbands long retired without having ever moved back to the West. Many of their husbands have built separate new homes for their children's families alongside their own homes. As the family's next generation begins taking root in Saudi Arabia, these expat wives slowly come to the realization that their husbands will never move. Some are now in their late sixties with independent children and have no pretext anymore for delaying moving to the West. Instead they spend half of the year abroad. One Brazilian wife of a wealthy Saudi man admitted that she spends nine months in her home country, Western Europe or America. AN ARC OF PROGRESSION ¶4. (C) The CG has noticed the same trend with a new generation of expat wives who live under the pretense that they, too, will retire back to their home countries. The tendency amongst them is consistent: They meet their Saudi husbands, get married, and move to Saudi Arabia all the while telling themselves and others that the move is temporary. As time marches on, the wives' rhetoric about their situation becomes increasingly unrealistic. Their goal post - the trip wire which will send them and their husbands back to the West - is constantly moving. At first they declare that that they will remain in the Kingdom until their children graduate high school. When that doesn't happen, they declare that they and their husbands are only living in Saudi Arabia until their children get married or have children of their own. Eventually their feeble self-delusion disappears and they resign themselves to the fact that their husbands will never leave their families, their money, their homes, or their businesses behind. This phenomenon can be visualized as an arc that traces the progression of the wives' state of mind: they begin their lives in Saudi Arabia with realistic plans, which are then superseded by naive hopes and implausible rhetoric until, finally, resignation sets in and expectations are once again pragmatic. SPOILED TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN ¶5. (C) At a recent dinner party, the CG sat next to an AmCit spouse of a wealthy Saudi businessman. She and her husband had not been in Saudi Arabia for very long. "We're just here for the kids," she said. "We'll retire to the States. We won't live in Saudi Arabia forever." Later at the same dinner party, PolOff sat with this woman's husband, a wealthy yet brash man who, despite being married to an American, opined that he was delighted that September 11th happened for "The American infidels got what they deserved." He also declared that he would never set foot in the United States again. When a fellow-diner joked with him about being married to an American woman despite his hatred of all things American, the man became visibly agitated and began swearing and cursing at everyone around him. ¶6. (C) On a separate occasion, a group of five affluent older Saudi men who are married to Western women discussed the issue with each other and with the CG. With bittersweet undertones, the men all explained to the group where their wives were at the time. "My wife has a dentist appointment in Brazil," chuckled one gentleman. "My wife is shopping in London," added another. The five men confided in the CG that they have told their wives that there are only so many months a year that the women are permitted to spend abroad. If they go over that allotted time, they are threatened with one of three punishments: either they will be cut off financially or the men will divorce them or take a second wife. The threats, the men claimed, keep the women on the "straight-and-narrow." They admitted that all of their wives had enough money to leave them and live modestly on their own. However, the men concluded that their wives were "spoiled" to the point that they would never leave their husbands for fear of abandoning their posh, affluent lifestyles. COMMENT. It seems that these men are correct. These women are accustomed to a certain lifestyle and will accept nothing less in exchange for their freedom. Clearly, these five men and others with whom the CG has spoken in the past have little respect for their wives. ¶7. (C) AmConGen Jeddah ConOffs have met a number of American women who find themselves in the same predicament. While they are free to travel between the West and Saudi Arabia more or less as often as they would like, they are unhappy and explore the possibility of leaving their husbands. Inevitably, the women conclude that "it's really not that bad" so long as they have access to their vast allowances. Gfoeller