ASEAN BUILDING ON SUCCESS OF ANTHEM

UNCLAS JAKARTA 000582


Dept for EAP, EAP/MTS, EAP/MLS, EAP/RSP

E.O. 12958: N/A
TAGS: PREL PGOV ECON ASEAN KOMO ID

SUBJECT: ASEAN BUILDING ON SUCCESS OF ANTHEM

REF: 08 JAKARTA 650


1. (U) SUMMARY: ASEAN's new anthem has been an
overwhelming success. The catchy tune has climbed the
charts in all ten Southeast Asia countries and is a
favorite selection on karaoke machines throughout the
region. To capitalize on this success, the Jakarta-based
ASEAN Secretariat held a special April 1 meeting to
identify other ways that ASEAN can play a more central
role in the region. Ideas included the official
designation of an ASEAN costume, snack, sport or animal-
inspired mascot. Member states surprisingly failed to
reach a consensus, but promised to meet again soon to mull
things over. END SUMMARY.

ASEAN COSTUME UNRAVELS


2. (U) To capitalize on the success of the ASEAN Way, the
organization's catchy new anthem, the ASEAN Secretariat
called a special April 1 meeting to identify other ways
that ASEAN can play a more central role in the region and
internationally. Secretariat officials first suggested an
official ASEAN costume. Several delegations seized on the
idea. The Singaporeans went first, suggesting grey
trousers, a striped tie and a blue blazer with the ASEAN
logo on the pocket. Burmese officials next suggested
khaki uniforms--a proposal that went quickly down to
defeat. The Filipinos--showing exuberance and great
emotion--recommended the barong. The discussion
completely broke down, however, due to a dispute between
Indonesia and Malaysia over which country invented batik.

HEARTBURN OVER ASEAN SNACK


3. (U) Next on the agenda was the proposal for an
official ASEAN snack. However, a split within the Thai
delegation prevented any progress on this front. Most
Thai officials supported spring rolls as the official
ASEAN delicacy. Fierce arguments broke out within the
Thai delegation, however, on whether the wrapping for the
snack would be red or yellow. Regional observers we
spoke to were surprised that the regional grouping was
unable to reach a consensus on durian as the official
ASEAN snack. Meanwhile, Indonesian and Malaysian
officials argued over which country invented nasi goreng.

CRYING FOUL OVER AN ASEAN SPORT


4. (U) ASEAN officials then turned to the idea of an
official ASEAN sport. Former New York Mets star Sidd
Finch (see 08 Jakarta 650, dated April 1, 2008, for more
on Finch) traveled to the Secretariat from his yoga studio
in Bali to make the pitch for baseball. Finch explained
that baseball's leisurely pace was a perfect match for the
ASEAN way. Several member states rejected the proposal,
however, because they feared that Southeast Asian
countries would be dominated by more powerful Northeast
Asian baseball powers like Japan and South Korea.
Discussions of an alternative ASEAN sport soon hit the
wall thanks to a dispute between Indonesia and Malaysia
over which country had invented badminton.

GNASHING OF TEETH OVER ASEAN MASCOT


5. (U) There was also discussion about designating an
animal-inspired mascot for the organization. The
Indonesians suggested the Komodo Dragon (a gigantic lizard
from Indonesia). This was controversial, however. The
vicious attack last year on two British divers by deadly
Komodo dragons has sparked European human rights groups to
protest against the giant lizards. The divers, who
survived almost nine hours in shark-infested waters only
to come face to face with several deadly Komodo dragons on
dry land, have told the press that the savage beasts
should not be iconized. The divers reportedly used rocks
and a weight belt to fight off the giant, venomous,
fiendish lizards as they repeatedly lunged at them. Thai
animal rights activists have asserted that the often
overlooked (and considerably less cruel) monitor lizard
should also be a contender for the mascot job.

FINDING A SOLUTION


6. (U) Member states surprisingly failed to reach a
consensus on any of these topics, but promised to meet
again soon to mull things over. Secretariat officials
decided to try to find a solution to these problems in the
time-honored ASEAN way--they thought of the idea of
forming a Special High-Level Eminent Persons Consultative
Advisory Panel (SHLEPCAP). However, before the SHLEPCAP
could meet, a working-level Standing Committee on ASEAN
Costumes, Snacks, Sports and Mascots (SCACSSM) would have
to draft Terms of Reference (TOR) for the SHLEPCAP. Our
contacts did not think this process would be complete in
time for the Panel's next scheduled meeting, slated for
April 1, 2010.


7. (U) Happy April Fool's Day from Jakarta.

HUME