UAE WOMEN PREFER NOT TO DEFINE SUCCESS BY GENDER

UNCLAS ABU DHABI 000437


FOR NEA/ARP AND DRL

E.O. 12958: DECL: N/A
TAGS: PHUM PGOV SOCI AE
SUBJECT: UAE WOMEN PREFER NOT TO DEFINE SUCCESS BY GENDER

REF: 08 ABU DHABI 01124

Sensitive but unclassified; please protect accordingly


1. (SBU) Summary: Much has been written about the (relatively)
progressive UAE attitude towards women and the great successes of
Emirati women academically and professionally. Female Emirati
contacts report they are pleased with the development of women in the
UAE but still feel constrained by traditional attitudes. Despite
some progress, they appear to accept that the parameters of female
self determination in the UAE continue to be defined largely by men.
End summary.

--------------
Real Emirati Women...Cook?
--------------


2. (U) The comments of one older woman (a grandmother, mother of
eight, and step-mother of two) sum up the progress made. In halting
but clear English, she explained that as a girl there was no
expectation that she would attend university or even high school --
she only finished primary school. Her mother taught her "the
important things that a woman must know to be a good wife." She
cited the predictable skills of "being a good cook and a good
mother." She did not say whether or not she wanted higher education,
but recalled her mother "beating" and "forcing" her to learn how to
cook. She recalled the resentment she felt at not being allowed to
play and have fun the way her brothers did, but at the time, could
not conceive of anything else. She holds no resentment towards her
mother or the women of her generation as they "wanted me to
understand my place."


3. (U) The older woman further noted with resignation that she had
only succeeded in teaching one of her six daughters to cook and that
had only happened in the months prior to her daughter's marriage.
She pointed out that women like her daughter had so many options
available that being a wife and mother was only one of many paths.
One mother of three in her mid thirties admitted that she had chosen
to marry early, not pursue a tertiary degree, and that it was
important for her to learn how to "be a good wife". She expressed no
feelings of inferiority to those women (including her own sisters)
who had chosen professional lives and applauded the direction in
which women's lives were heading. She mused "my daughters will have
so much freedom when they grow up."


4. (U) Interestingly, it was the mothers of young girls who were the
most comfortable with the status of women today although they
admitted that there was still room for progress. One, a shy and
thoughtful public servant in her mid-thirties, expressed annoyance
that conversations about UAE women always seemed to remark on women's
successes because they were women rather than commend the successes
themselves. She felt that after a generation of focusing on female
education, it was time for the conversation to shift and for women to
be judged on the merits of their achievements rather than on their
abilities "as women." A kindergarten teacher and mother of two young
girls strongly agreed that a decoupling was needed and said she often
reminded her husband to compliment their daughters' achievements
without focusing on gender. She said that as a teacher, she felt
that self determination should be encouraged early and would pave the
way for the parents of little girls to lift more restrictions when
their daughters reach adulthood. "Children are very good teachers,"
she said.

--------------
PROGRESS UNDERWAY
--------------


5. (U) Two younger public servants may be representative of this
younger generation. Rattling off the achievements of women -- female
diplomats, lawyers, pilots, doctors, etc -- they reported feeling
self-induced pressure to pursue higher education and professional
lives. One, a mother of two in her mid thirties, originally from
Sharjah, admitted that growing up she had always admired her father's
academic achievements, proudly telling PolOff that "he went to
university in Iraq", and felt that his education had informed the
openness with which he raised his children. She recognized early
that his encouragement to aim high was different from the attitudes
of her friends' fathers. Another woman, in her late twenties and not
yet married, expressed similar sentiments, saying that she felt no
pressure to succeed from her father, but that "he always talked to me
about the world, life, politics, and I was just interested in finding
out for myself." By comparison, her mother neither encouraged nor
discouraged her university career because "she knew that I was very
stubborn and would do what I wanted to do anyway."

--------------
BUT MEN STILL LEAD
--------------


6. (U) A reserved young housewife and mother of two, her apparent
conservatism underscored by the veil she wears over her face (in
front of men),expressed anger and resentment at the failure of some
families to keep pace with changes. She, a Dubai native -- a
disappearing minority -- felt "frustrated" at growing up during the
height of Dubai's development, being exposed to a number of
interesting experiences (including two years abroad as a child),and
yet, her family "forced" her to marry as soon as she graduated from
college. With tremendous effort to hide her resentment, she sighed
"Of course, as soon as I got married, my husband wouldn't let me
work. Now my degree is wasted and I'll never be able to do
anything." She also added, "I know this sounds silly, but all I want
to do is take my children to Disneyland and I can't even do that
unless my husband or father goes with me."


7. (SBU) A healthily ambitious young public servant echoed similar
frustration at families failing to keep pace with the changed world
in which their daughters were growing up. She lamented the fact that
"I really wanted to go to college in the United States, but nobody
will let their daughters go away." PolOff questioned this, given her
father's general open mindedness, but she said she always knew that
"even if he was comfortable with it, the community would tell him
that it was against the religion." Clearly still resentful of this
particular restriction, she told PolOff that "I want to talk about
[constraints on women], but right now it still makes me sad." (Note:
This young woman was selected for an International Visitor Program
sponsored by the USG in 2007 but was unable to travel due to family
insistence that she have an escort. End note.)

--------------
COMMENT
--------------


8. (SBU) The "women's movement" in the UAE context is much more
tempered than its Western equivalents, with the number of Emirati
women overtly advocating for significantly more freedoms remaining in
the minority. Outwardly most women appear to have accepted the
national narrative that women can avail themselves of many
opportunities -- yet choose to describe their evolution in terms of a
gift granted by society rather than an inherent right. As successful
as the women are, the parameters of social tradition continue to be
defined largely by family -- and men. Credit for the decision to
promote female education is given to the late founding father of the
country, Sheikh Zayed; the high profile appointments of women into
ministerial, ambassadorial, and judicial positions were decisions
taken by male rulers with a vision to promote the development of
women. Even in speaking to this small sample of women, the greatest
influences in their lives with respect to education and careers were
their fathers. None of them credited their mothers with encouraging
them to explore broader horizons. Rather, when probed about who
specifically is opposed to them pursuing opportunities abroad, all
women agreed that it was their mothers although the edicts were given
by the family patriarchs.

End comment.

GREENE