Identifier
Created
Classification
Origin
08ASHGABAT5
2008-01-02 12:46:00
UNCLASSIFIED//FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY
Embassy Ashgabat
Cable title:  

TURKMENISTAN: ARRANGED MARRIAGES MAKE A COMEBACK, BUT

Tags:  PGOV PHUM ECON SOCI TX 
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P 021246Z JAN 08
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UNCLAS SECTION 01 OF 03 ASHGABAT 000005 

SIPDIS

SENSITIVE
SIPDIS

STATE FOR SCA/CEN, DRL

E.O. 12958: N/A
TAGS: PGOV PHUM ECON SOCI TX
SUBJECT: TURKMENISTAN: ARRANGED MARRIAGES MAKE A COMEBACK, BUT
WITH A TWIST

Reftels: A) 07 Ashgabat 1387
B) 07 Ashgabat 1400

UNCLAS SECTION 01 OF 03 ASHGABAT 000005

SIPDIS

SENSITIVE
SIPDIS

STATE FOR SCA/CEN, DRL

E.O. 12958: N/A
TAGS: PGOV PHUM ECON SOCI TX
SUBJECT: TURKMENISTAN: ARRANGED MARRIAGES MAKE A COMEBACK, BUT
WITH A TWIST

Reftels: A) 07 Ashgabat 1387
B) 07 Ashgabat 1400


1. (U) Sensitive but unclassified. Not for public Internet.


2. (SBU) SUMMARY: In Turkmenistan, a traditional country where most
women still marry rather than face the social stigma from remaining
single, women's rights are closely linked to marriage customs.
Although the pre-Soviet custom of arranged marriages has made a
comeback since Turkmenistan received its independence, most such
marriages now involve the consent of both the groom and the bride.
While family and social pressure to go through with an arranged
marriage can be intense, Turkmenistan's law -- and families' wish to
avoid potentially shameful suicide -- help ensure that most women
are no longer forced into unwelcome marriages. All this does not
ensure the subsequent success of a marriage, but it does give most
women a voice in choosing who they marry. END SUMMARY.

ARRANGED MARRIAGES CONTINUE TRADITIONS


3. (U) Among Turkmen, the sense of family runs deep, and one's
sense of duty to one's family influences almost all aspects of an
individual's life, including marriage. In Turkmenistan's culture,
arranging a marriage comprises more than just making a match for two
individuals. Instead, it becomes the selection process for a new
member of the household, as the bride, in a symbolic and literal
sense, leaves her own family to become a member of her new husband's
extended family.


4. (U) In the old days, before Soviet influences had begun to break
down the Turkmen's traditional nomadic lifestyle, marriages were
arranged within family clans and inside of a single tribe. Often,
the engagement of the young couple would take place at an early age
in order to avoid giving the children a chance to protest -- and to
allow the family unit to take advantage early on of the economic
benefits, including the shares of land and water granted by village
authorities to the new household. Another common practice was to
arrange for younger sons to marry their older brothers' widows to
ensure that family units remained intact.

EDUCATION AND ENTITLEMENTS UNDER SOVIETS CHANGED THINKING



5. (U) With the introduction of the mandatory 10 years of education
for all children under the Soviets, the old ways began to break
down, and Turkmen women began to be less bound by tradition.
Instead, encouraged by a Soviet policy supporting "Komsomol
marriages" (love marriages) -- and enabled by state guarantees of
jobs, housing and social benefits -- women started choosing their
own marital partners, rather than relying on their parents,
matchmakers and relatives. But even in Soviet era, the tradition of
arranged marriages continued to be practiced in Turkmenistan's rural
areas.

ARRANGED MARRIAGES INCREASE IN FACE OF NEW TRADITIONALISM


6. (SBU) Since Turkmenistan's independence in 1991, there has been
a resurgence of traditionalism, which has been, in part,
deliberately cultivated by former President Niyazov's effort to
strengthen Turkmen culture. These changes have also been propelled
by economic necessity, as unemployment and the cost of living have
increased, and housing prices have soared. In such an environment,
many are forced to live with their parents, placing them once again
in a more traditional environment where they remain dependent on the
extended family unit.

CHILDREN MAINTAIN A SAY IN WHO THEY MARRY


7. (SBU) Because Turkmen consider marriage a social contract, which
imposes certain obligations on both spouses to contribute to the
family's well-being, Turkmen approach the choice of a future spouse
with a certain responsibility for ensuring that the marriage will be
strong and stable. As a result, both sets of parents will discuss
whether the two children are compatible. If they agree there are
possibilities, they allow the children to meet each other briefly

ASHGABAT 00000005 002 OF 003


and decide for themselves whether they want to proceed with the
marriage. In identifying potential couples, rural families pay most
attention to physical strength and a strong work ethic, while urban
families stress reputation and education. Families also try to
marry within the same socio-economic circles to capitalize on a
shared sense of values and morality.


8. (SBU) In the larger metropolitan areas, at least, the daughters
are not forced to marry. In one family, the parents reportedly
relented after seeing their daughter cry for three weeks after the
marriage was proposed. However, family pressure can act as a strong
incentive, especially in villages, against opposing all but the
least desirable matches. Likewise, women approaching 25 -- the
upper bracket of what is considered to be a marriageable age -- face
increased pressure to compromise, lest they bring social stigma upon
themselves and their families by not marrying. And in cases of
pre-marital pregnancy, the pressure to marry is especially strong.
Although Turkmenistan's law protects the rights of both parties to
reject marriage, most cases where one or both parties oppose a
proposed marriage are worked out within the extended family using
mediation by family elders, rather than calling on judicial
mechanisms.


9. (SBU) Occasionally, family pressure to marry can lead to
suicide. In one recent case, a would-be bride immolated herself,
rather than go ahead with a marriage. However, most families --
faced with the prospect of suicide, which is considered especially
shameful in the Turkmen culture because it keeps the deceased's soul
from being blessed by God -- are likely to back off before the
situation reaches that point.

"BRIDE KIDNAPPING"


10. (SBU) The other side of the coin of the arranged marriage --
the "bride kidnapping" -- is also facing a comeback. An elopement
arranged consensually between two young people, the "bride
kidnapping" is a way of forcing the issue when a couple is in love,
the groom cannot afford a bride price, or the parents of one of the
young people oppose the marriage because the other party is from an
unacceptable tribe or socio-economic background. In such cases, the
parents of the bride and groom are virtually forced to consent to
the marriage after the fact, or face social censure because their
children engaged in pre-marital relations. Unless the bride is
under the legal marriage age of 16, bride kidnappers are rarely
prosecuted because of a traditional reluctance to bring such cases
into the public realm.

BRIDE PRICE ALSO MAKES A COMEBACK


11. (SBU) The "bride price" -- a fee of $2000-$5000 paid by the
groom's family to the parents of the bride in recognition of their
role in nurturing their daughter -- is an essential element of the
arranged marriage. Although the practice of giving a bride price
was illegal during the Soviet era, it has been virtually
institutionalized in post-Soviet Turkmenistan. The parents are
responsible for negotiating the arranged marriage and also assume
responsibility for negotiating the bride price. The price can vary
widely, based on the bride's appearance, reputation, skills (a good
education typically counts against a bride, since she is considered
to be more independent and a less-skilled homemaker) and her family
background.


12. (SBU) Bride prices are typically substantially lower in love
marriages, and they are most often negotiated by the sons. In many
cases, the son only tenders up a token payment -- maybe a piece of
jewelry -- to the bride's mother, and pays for the bride's wedding
clothes, jewelry and other expenses. In cases of "bride
kidnapping," the prices are lowest, since the consent of the bride's
parents after the fact to the marriage considerably lowers the
negotiating power of the bride's family.

NEW OPENNESS TO MARRIAGE WITH FOREIGNERS


13. (U) Traditionally, Turkmen males were allowed to marry females

ASHGABAT 00000005 003 OF 003


with different religious beliefs because children born in such
marriages received the religion of their father. This provision was
widely practiced by Turkmen Bolshevik leaders, who married Russian
females because of their higher education level. By comparison,
however, even during the Soviet era, Turkmen females were allowed to
marry only Turkmen males. As Turkmenistan has opened up to the
outside world, even this practice is beginning to disappear. Many
young Turkmen females marry foreigners of Turkish and European
origin. Such marriages often happen with the consent of a girl's
parents, who view such a marriage as a good choice for a better
future for their daughter.


14. (SBU) COMMENT: Just as in any other country in the world, it
is impossible to ensure that all marriages turn out happily, and
some experts claim that spouse abuse remains a serious problem here.
With most Turkmen women choosing to marry rather than to endure the
social stigma from remaining single, women's ability to choose who
they marry is closely linked to women's rights. A recent law on
women's rights (reftels) was passed guaranteeing women's say-so
regarding a marriage partner. After millennia of arranged marriages
and 70 years of "love matches," modern Turkmen society is finding
something in between suits the need to balance choice, family,
responsibility, security, and tradition.

HOAGLAND