FAREWELL KSA: WEALTHY WESTERN WIVES' UNREALIZED

C O N F I D E N T I A L JEDDAH 000302

SIPDIS

SIPDIS

RIYADH, PLEASE PASS TO DHAHRAN; PARIS FOR ZEYA; LONDON FOR
TSOU; DEPARTMENT FOR NEA/ARP

SIPDIS

E.O. 12958: DECL: 04/16/2016
TAGS: PGOV SOCI SA
SUBJECT: FAREWELL KSA: WEALTHY WESTERN WIVES' UNREALIZED
DREAM


Classified By: Consul General Tatiana Gfoeller, for reasons 1.4 (b) and
(d).


1. (C) SUMMARY AND COMMENT. Over the course of her tenure
here in Jeddah, the Consul General has had the opportunity to
speak with a number of Western expatriate women who are
married to wealthy Saudi businessmen. Their story is always
the same: they dream of leaving Saudi Arabia behind to settle
down with their husbands back in the West. They cannot admit
to themselves or anyone else that theirs is a dream that will
never be realized. While their rhetoric about why they and
their husbands remain in the Kingdom varies over time, their
reality is unchanged. Most become accustomed to their
affluent lifestyles and are unwilling to sacrifice wealth for
freedom. Eventually they resign themselves to the fact that
they will never live permanently in the West again, and
instead spend months at a time in their home countries,
upholding the fiction of a stable household in exchange for
an exorbitant allowance. END SUMMARY AND COMMENT.

AN UNLIKELY RETIREMENT TO THE WEST


2. (C) The CG has had many opportunities to speak with
Western expatriate women who are married to wealthy Saudi
men. She first met some of these women when she herself was
posted to Saudi Arabia 18 years ago. Most are married to men
who they met in their home countries and who have returned
with their wives to Saudi Arabia to work in their families'
businesses. Each of these women in their early forties says
that, while they enjoy their affluent lifestyles here in the
Kingdom, the restrictions on their movement and their
treatment as second-class citizens is hard on them.
Nonetheless, they assert that they are here to raise their
children while their husbands make money. "The plan, after
all, is to retire to the West."


3. (C) Eighteen years later, the CG has seen the same women
in the same situation they were in back then; their husbands
long retired without having ever moved back to the West.
Many of their husbands have built separate new homes for
their children's families alongside their own homes. As the
family's next generation begins taking root in Saudi Arabia,
these expat wives slowly come to the realization that their
husbands will never move. Some are now in their late sixties
with independent children and have no pretext anymore for
delaying moving to the West. Instead they spend half of the
year abroad. One Brazilian wife of a wealthy Saudi man
admitted that she spends nine months in her home country,
Western Europe or America.

AN ARC OF PROGRESSION


4. (C) The CG has noticed the same trend with a new
generation of expat wives who live under the pretense that
they, too, will retire back to their home countries. The
tendency amongst them is consistent: They meet their Saudi
husbands, get married, and move to Saudi Arabia all the while
telling themselves and others that the move is temporary. As
time marches on, the wives' rhetoric about their situation
becomes increasingly unrealistic. Their goal post - the trip
wire which will send them and their husbands back to the West
- is constantly moving. At first they declare that that they
will remain in the Kingdom until their children graduate high
school. When that doesn't happen, they declare that they and
their husbands are only living in Saudi Arabia until their
children get married or have children of their own.
Eventually their feeble self-delusion disappears and they
resign themselves to the fact that their husbands will never
leave their families, their money, their homes, or their
businesses behind. This phenomenon can be visualized as an
arc that traces the progression of the wives' state of mind:
they begin their lives in Saudi Arabia with realistic plans,
which are then superseded by naive hopes and implausible
rhetoric until, finally, resignation sets in and expectations
are once again pragmatic.

SPOILED TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN


5. (C) At a recent dinner party, the CG sat next to an AmCit
spouse of a wealthy Saudi businessman. She and her husband
had not been in Saudi Arabia for very long. "We're just here
for the kids," she said. "We'll retire to the States. We
won't live in Saudi Arabia forever." Later at the same

dinner party, PolOff sat with this woman's husband, a wealthy
yet brash man who, despite being married to an American,
opined that he was delighted that September 11th happened for
"The American infidels got what they deserved." He also
declared that he would never set foot in the United States
again. When a fellow-diner joked with him about being
married to an American woman despite his hatred of all things
American, the man became visibly agitated and began swearing
and cursing at everyone around him.


6. (C) On a separate occasion, a group of five affluent older
Saudi men who are married to Western women discussed the
issue with each other and with the CG. With bittersweet
undertones, the men all explained to the group where their
wives were at the time. "My wife has a dentist appointment
in Brazil," chuckled one gentleman. "My wife is shopping in
London," added another. The five men confided in the CG that
they have told their wives that there are only so many months
a year that the women are permitted to spend abroad. If they
go over that allotted time, they are threatened with one of
three punishments: either they will be cut off financially or
the men will divorce them or take a second wife. The
threats, the men claimed, keep the women on the
"straight-and-narrow." They admitted that all of their wives
had enough money to leave them and live modestly on their
own. However, the men concluded that their wives were
"spoiled" to the point that they would never leave their
husbands for fear of abandoning their posh, affluent
lifestyles. COMMENT. It seems that these men are correct.
These women are accustomed to a certain lifestyle and will
accept nothing less in exchange for their freedom. Clearly,
these five men and others with whom the CG has spoken in the
past have little respect for their wives.


7. (C) AmConGen Jeddah ConOffs have met a number of American
women who find themselves in the same predicament. While they
are free to travel between the West and Saudi Arabia more or
less as often as they would like, they are unhappy and
explore the possibility of leaving their husbands.
Inevitably, the women conclude that "it's really not that
bad" so long as they have access to their vast allowances.
Gfoeller